In early 2016, over burgers near Penn Station, Nick asked Jacob if he would help him write a book about men’s groups. He had been trying for years with other writers, but nothing had clicked. Jacob felt a chill run up his spine and said yes immediately. Without knowing what it would mean for their next ten years, he insisted they write it as a novel. He joined Nick’s Dudes of Disruption Men’s Group as research shortly after, but it didn’t stay research for long. Jacob stayed in that group for eight years, and they started a second group, The Arena Men’s Group, in 2020. Since that cold February day in 2016, Jacob and Nick have met every week, writing drafts, talking deeply about men and friendship, hiring editors, and rewriting the book again and again, until it slowly transformed from something instructional into something character-driven and alive.

The roots of that lunch and all that followed stretched back years. When Nick’s father died in 1996, he buried his grief and focused on being strong for his family. Only later, in therapy with Armand DiMele, did he recognize how distant he felt from other men and decide to start a group as a way to heal. That first group in 2005 changed his life’s path. Jacob came to the work through his own search for meaning after college, hiring Nick as his coach and discovering both a calling and a friendship. The novel grew out of those lived experiences, not as a manual but as a story shaped by years of honest conversation and a shared belief that when people tell the truth in their relationships, something real can change.